What If Purpose Finds You When You Least Expect It?

There are some books that feel like a quiet conversation and We Should All Be Birds by Brian Buckbee is exactly that. It’s gentle, reflective, and unexpectedly heavy in the best way.

What stood out most to me wasn’t just the heartbreak or the health struggles, it was something more subtle and something I hear echoed in therapy rooms all the time: a notion of not necessarily wanting to die… but not really feeling a strong pull to live either.

In clinical terms, we might call it passive suicidality, but that phrase can feel sterile compared to the lived experience. I find it manifesting in thoughts such as “What’s the point?” or “If I didn’t wake up, I don’t know that I’d mind.” When you look at Buckbee’s circumstances (chronic health issues, loss, loneliness) it makes sense. That’s the part I always come back to with clients: your feelings make sense in context.

What I found so moving about this book is that it doesn’t stay there. It doesn’t force a dramatic transformation or a sudden “everything is better now” moment. Instead, something much quieter happens.

Through caring for pigeons, he finds something resembling purpose. Not a grand, sweeping life mission. Just… something to show up for.

And I find that’s where this connects so deeply to therapy.

Because healing isn’t always about discovering your ultimate purpose. Sometimes it’s about: finding only one thing that matters today, building connection in small, consistent ways, or allowing yourself to be needed, even just a little

In my work, I often see people trying to think their way out of that numb, in-between space but Buckbee’s story reminds us that purpose is often felt through action and connection, not figured out logically.

It also gently challenges the idea that meaning has to be big or impressive. Sometimes it looks like feeding birds, sometimes it looks like getting out of bed and sometimes it looks like simply staying in this world… and that matters more than we give it credit for.

If you’ve ever found yourself in that space, where life doesn’t feel unbearable, but it doesn’t feel particularly worth it either, this book meets you there without judgment and more importantly, it shows that something can grow from that place.

Not all at once and not dramatically, but enough to keep waking in the morning.